HOW TO CULTIVATE INTENTION WITH YOUR
Simi Botic & Katie Dalebout
Simi Botic and Katie Dalebout both work in the wellness space, as coaches who help women who want to reach beyond limiting mindsets, feel at home, and start to have fun in their natural bodies. We wanted to hear about whether their work (that desire to embrace the good and ditch the unnecessary) carries over into their friendship...and it sounds like the answer is a resounding yes. Their tip for maintaining a friendship that enhances your life: be OPEN and invest in the people who make you feel like your truest self. Read on!
Small Packages: What was the first thing you remember really liking about each other?
Simi: The first time we ‘met’ off-line was on a phone call (we had a mutual coach who thought we’d have a lot to talk about) and I remember feeling like I could talk with her forever! There was an ease and a warmth to her. I felt so comfortable that I invited her to come stay with my family and visit for a weekend! The rest is history.
Katie: Simi was so open and inviting. Literally on our first phone call, she invited me to come stay with her and her family for the weekend in Columbus. I said yes, so that means she must have been warm, welcoming, and friendly from the very first moment. I remember instantly just liking her, I don't remember why exactly. Her dogs had just escaped as I drove up and it was a hectic moment yet somehow she was calm. I admired her. I hoped she liked me too. I remember the first night we hung out, sitting on her couch for hours chatting in our pjs. We'd washed our faces and brushed our teeth already and I felt so cozy and warm. Turns out that was the first of many nights I'd feel that way with her. She's the coziest person in my life. I know that no matter what is happening in my life, she is someone who can and will listen to me in a way no one else ever has.
Small Packages: Now that you've been friends for a while, what's the thing that holds you together? Why has your friendship lasted?
Simi: I think there is still that same ease and warmth I felt on that first phone call, but now with so much more depth, trust, and love. We just really GET each other. We understand the way the other one’s mind + heart work, so there is a real understanding. And, we put in the effort to stay connected even though we don’t live in the same place!Katie: Simi and I have a very similar temperament. We relate to the world in similar ways, making us ideal friends for sharing uncomfortable moments we've had in life, work, and relationships. We know we'll be met with compassion and empathy by someone who truly gets it in ways romantic partners and family haven't been able to. Of course they support us, but no one understands what it's like to be in the inside of an anxiety spiral like a friend who also has them. What makes me feel close to Simi is that we both feel things deeply. It's both a blessing and a curse, and having her to share things with makes me feel less alone. I'm grateful for her daily. We also have similar careers, so it's easy to relate to each other in that way. We've become each other's co-workers in some ways. We can talk about our frustrations with social media or negotiating something and we fully understand what the other means.
No one understands what it's like to be in the inside of an anxiety spiral like a friend who also has them.
Small Packages: Tell us something about your girl that she'd be too modest to share. Brag about her a little!
Simi: She is SUCH an incredible creative and visionary! Truly. Katie is incredibly modest and would down play her accomplishments and talents, but I’m so happy to sing them from the rooftops! She’s a leap ahead and whatever she creates ultimately becomes something everyone loves and jumps on board with (podcasting, journaling, and the list goes on).
Katie: She is the best listener. Simi is the most compassionate, giving person. It's been cool to watch her grow into a more flexible person over our friendship. She's great at advice-giving and good at communication with friends and her family. She's so self-aware and self-reflective. She's great at taking care of herself so she can show up as herself fully in her work and relationships. She's smart as a whip. VERY funny. Knows every 90s reference. She has great taste in food!!! And in decor and style. She's a really good cook, and makes a mean smoothie. She's terrible at: eating gluten and staying awake when watching a movie late at night.
We don’t really ever talk for just a minute or two. We find time to share everything we’ve been thinking and feeling, and to check in with each other.
Small Packages: How do you stay connected? (Give us tips!!!)
Simi: We talk and enjoy each other’s company (even if it’s rarely in person, since we live states apart). We love to find time for LONG phone calls, since we don’t live in the same place. We don’t really ever talk for just a minute or two – we find time to share everything we’ve been thinking and feeling and going through and to check in with each other. We celebrate each other when something exciting happens. We let the other one cry when something tough is happening – judgment free. And, we do our best to visit whenever we can make it work!
Katie: I call her almost daily. She calls me. If we miss each other we always call back. We text and check in whenever we think of each other. If we go a while without talking, we check in with each other and make sure we're okay. We also both prioritize visiting each other in our respective cities as much as we can. Simi's life is a lot more complicated than mine as a mom and wife so it's easier for this life phase for me to visit her more...so that's what we do! As we age, we'll likely take trips together. We do really well traveling together. Social media is actually a good way for me to be able to keep up on her life in a visual way, it helps me to have a visual for what I'm hearing about in our conversations. My biggest tip: when you think of your friend: reach out, call, text, snail mail, voice text (we send a lot of those too). Ultimately, just care and show you care.